https://staging.thenewjew.org/articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi.xml /articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi xml article Finding a Rabbi Every Jew should have a rabbi—not just for halacha but for relationship. Finding one is one of the first tasks of the New Jew. The New Jew /index.xml Community /sections/community.xml Finding a Rabbi /articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi.xml https://staging.thenewjew.org/articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi https://staging.thenewjew.org/articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi.json <_xml>https://staging.thenewjew.org/articles/where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi.xml
where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi Finding a Rabbi Every Jew should have a rabbi—not just for halacha but for relationship. Finding one is one of the first tasks of the New Jew. Summary. The Mishnah (Pirkei Avot 1:6) instructs: “Make for yourself a rabbi (aseh lecha rav).” A rabbi is the New Jew’s halachic decisor, the answer to questions that books cannot settle, and the relationship through which a person grows into the community. Finding a rabbi is not difficult: attend a shul, request a meeting, and ask. Most rabbis are accustomed to and delighted by ba’alei teshuva and converts. orientation where-to-start rabbi mentorship halacha 2026-07-06T02:19:03.001Z 481 2
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https://pub-73c694f3dc3c4d0ea8f98f090d227a0d.r2.dev/article-images/finding-a-rabbi-ms8fj57o-846732c6.png https://pub-73c694f3dc3c4d0ea8f98f090d227a0d.r2.dev/article-images/finding-a-rabbi-crop-ms8g9vqk-73c38de8-large.png https://pub-73c694f3dc3c4d0ea8f98f090d227a0d.r2.dev/article-images/finding-a-rabbi-crop-ms8g9vqk-73c38de8-thumb.png Finding a Rabbi summary Summary. The [Mishnah](/glossary.xml#letter-M) ([Pirkei Avot 1:6](https://www.sefaria.org/Pirkei_Avot.1.6)) instructs: “Make for yourself a rabbi (aseh lecha [rav](/glossary.xml#letter-R)).” A rabbi is the New Jew’s halachic decisor, the answer to questions that books cannot settle, and the relationship through which a person grows into the community. Finding a rabbi is not difficult: attend a [shul](/glossary.xml#letter-S), request a meeting, and ask. Most rabbis are accustomed to and delighted by [ba’alei teshuva](/glossary.xml#letter-B) and converts. Summary. The Mishnah (Pirkei Avot 1:6) instructs: “Make for yourself a rabbi (aseh lecha rav).” A rabbi is the New Jew’s halachic decisor, the answer to questions that books cannot settle, and the relationship through which a person grows into the community. Finding a rabbi is not difficult: attend a shul, request a meeting, and ask. Most rabbis are accustomed to and delighted by ba’alei teshuva and converts. paragraph The Mishnah’s injunction—[aseh lecha rav](/glossary.xml#letter-A) uk’neh lecha [chaver](/glossary.xml#letter-C)—“make for yourself a rabbi and acquire for yourself a friend” (Pirkei [Avot](/glossary.xml#letter-A) 1:6) is the foundational text for the rabbi-congregant relationship. The principle has structural force in [Halacha](/glossary.xml#letter-H): every Jew should have a [posek](/glossary.xml#letter-P), a rabbi whose halachic rulings are binding on them. Where the books disagree, where the cases are unclear, where the situation requires judgment—the posek decides. The Mishnah’s injunction—aseh lecha rav uk’neh lecha chaver—“make for yourself a rabbi and acquire for yourself a friend” (Pirkei Avot 1:6) is the foundational text for the rabbi-congregant relationship. The principle has structural force in Halacha: every Jew should have a posek, a rabbi whose halachic rulings are binding on them. Where the books disagree, where the cases are unclear, where the situation requires judgment—the posek decides. heading How to Choose How to Choose paragraph Attend a shul for several weeks before approaching the rabbi you can talk with. The fit between rabbi and New Jew is partly substantive (denomination, [hashkafa](/glossary.xml#letter-H), approach to ba’alei [teshuva](/glossary.xml#letter-T)) and partly chemistry. Email the rabbi after the third visit, ask for a fifteen-minute meeting, and tell your story honestly. The rabbi will tell you what next steps make sense. Attend a shul for several weeks before approaching the rabbi you can talk with. The fit between rabbi and New Jew is partly substantive (denomination, hashkafa, approach to ba’alei teshuva) and partly chemistry. Email the rabbi after the third visit, ask for a fifteen-minute meeting, and tell your story honestly. The rabbi will tell you what next steps make sense. heading What to Ask What to Ask paragraph What is your hashkafa (worldview)—[Modern Orthodox](/glossary.xml#letter-M), [Haredi](/glossary.xml#letter-H), Conservative, [Reform](/glossary.xml#letter-R), etc.? What is your hashkafa (worldview)—Modern Orthodox, Haredi, Conservative, Reform, etc.? paragraph Do you have experience working with ba’alei teshuva or converts? Do you have experience working with ba’alei teshuva or converts? paragraph If I have a halachic question between visits, may I email or text you? If I have a halachic question between visits, may I email or text you? paragraph Do you have a [chevruta](/glossary.xml#letter-C) (study-partner) program for someone at my level? Do you have a chevruta (study-partner) program for someone at my level? paragraph Are there families in the [kehilla](/glossary.xml#letter-K) (community) who host [Shabbat](/glossary.xml#letter-S) meals for newcomers? Are there families in the kehilla (community) who host Shabbat meals for newcomers? heading What Not to Expect What Not to Expect paragraph Do not expect every rabbi to be a polished pastoral figure with infinite time. Most rabbis are managing a community, a school, a building, and a family, all simultaneously. Be patient. Be specific. Send concise emails. And be willing to be referred—your first rabbi may not be your forever rabbi, and that is normal. Do not expect every rabbi to be a polished pastoral figure with infinite time. Most rabbis are managing a community, a school, a building, and a family, all simultaneously. Be patient. Be specific. Send concise emails. And be willing to be referred—your first rabbi may not be your forever rabbi, and that is normal. heading Where Denominations Diverge Where Denominations Diverge paragraph [Orthodox](/glossary.xml#letter-O) rabbis hold [smicha](/glossary.xml#letter-S) (ordination) from a [yeshiva](/glossary.xml#letter-Y) or a major posek; Conservative rabbis are ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS) or Ziegler School; Reform rabbis by Hebrew Union College (HUC); [Reconstructionist](/glossary.xml#letter-R) rabbis by Reconstructing Judaism. Each ordination certifies particular competencies; the role of a rabbi in your life depends partly on the denomination. In Orthodox practice, the posek’s rulings are binding; in Reform practice, the rabbi’s role is more advisory and pastoral. Orthodox rabbis hold smicha (ordination) from a yeshiva or a major posek; Conservative rabbis are ordained by the Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS) or Ziegler School; Reform rabbis by Hebrew Union College (HUC); Reconstructionist rabbis by Reconstructing Judaism. Each ordination certifies particular competencies; the role of a rabbi in your life depends partly on the denomination. In Orthodox practice, the posek’s rulings are binding; in Reform practice, the rabbi’s role is more advisory and pastoral. heading Sources Sources paragraph Mishnah, [Pirkei Avot](/glossary.xml#letter-P) 1:6—aseh lecha rav. Mishnah, Pirkei Avot 1:6—aseh lecha rav. paragraph [Talmud](/glossary.xml#letter-T) Bavli, [Avodah Zarah 19a](https://www.sefaria.org/Avodah_Zarah.19a)—on learning oral tradition from a single primary teacher, though the same passage teaches that legal reasoning benefits from studying under multiple teachers. Talmud Bavli, Avodah Zarah 19a—on learning oral tradition from a single primary teacher, though the same passage teaches that legal reasoning benefits from studying under multiple teachers. paragraph [Shulchan Aruch](/glossary.xml#letter-S), [Yoreh De’ah 242](https://www.sefaria.org/Shulchan_Arukh,_Yoreh_De'ah.242)—on the honor due one’s teacher. Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 242—on the honor due one’s teacher. paragraph [The Difference Between a Rabbi and a Rav](https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/466675/jewish/How-Do-I-Choose-a-Rabbi.htm) — Chabad.org. The Difference Between a Rabbi and a Rav — Chabad.org. paragraph [What Is A Rabbi?](https://aish.com/what-is-a-rabbi/) — Aish. What Is A Rabbi? — Aish. heading Further Reading Further Reading paragraph Joseph Telushkin, The Book of Jewish Values—for the broader ethic of teacher-student relationships. Joseph Telushkin, The Book of Jewish Values—for the broader ethic of teacher-student relationships. paragraph Norman Lamm, [Torah](/glossary.xml#letter-T) Umadda—for the Modern Orthodox vision of rabbinic education. Norman Lamm, Torah Umadda—for the Modern Orthodox vision of rabbinic education. where-to-start-your-first-holiday-cycle Your First Holiday Cycle /articles/where-to-start-your-first-holiday-cycle.xml community-finding-a-shul Finding a Shul essential /articles/community-finding-a-shul.xml community-chevra-and-chevruta Chevra and Chevruta essential /articles/community-chevra-and-chevruta.xml Aseh Lecha Rav עשה לך רב "Make for yourself a rabbi" — the Mishnah's instruction (Pirkei Avot 1:6) that every Jew should attach to a single teacher whose guidance they trust. The same verse pairs it with the twin command to acquire for oneself a friend. where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi Avot אָבוֹת 'Fathers' — the Patriarchs Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, and the name of the first blessing of the Amidah, which invokes them. Pirkei Avot, the Mishnah's tractate of ethical teachings, shares the name. Halacha הֲלָכָה Jewish law — literally "the way one walks" — the legal system that develops from the Torah's mitzvot through the Mishnah, Talmud, and the great codes; the movements differ on how binding it is, not on its centrality to the tradition. essentials-essential-questions-what-is-halacha Haredi חֲרֵדִי Literally 'trembling' (before God) — describing the strictly Orthodox communities, including the Hasidic and Lithuanian-yeshiva worlds, marked by intensive Torah study and deliberate distance from secular culture. Mishnah מִשְׁנָה The first great written compilation of the Oral Torah, organized by Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi around 200 CE into six orders; together with the Gemara it forms the Talmud. essentials-essential-facts-the-talmud-in-one-article Modern Orthodox Modern Orthodoxy is the stream of Orthodox Judaism that combines full Halachic observance with active engagement in general society, secular education, and often Zionism — distinct from Haredi communities that maintain greater separation from the surrounding culture. essentials-essential-judaica-kippah Orthodox Judaism Orthodox Judaism holds Halacha as fully binding and the Shulchan Aruch as its canonical code; it spans Haredi and Hasidic communities as well as Modern Orthodoxy, and is the starting point from which this Field Guide is written, even as it engages seriously with other denominations. how-to-use-this-field-guide Pirkei Avot פִּרְקֵי אָבוֹת 'Chapters of the Fathers' — the Mishnah's tractate of ethical wisdom, traditionally studied on the Shabbat afternoons between Pesach and Shavuot. going-deeper-deeper-facts-pirkei-avot Reconstructionist Judaism Founded by Mordecai Kaplan, Reconstructionist Judaism understands Judaism as an evolving religious civilization rather than a fixed set of supernatural commandments, and was an early adopter of patrilineal descent and full gender egalitarianism. how-to-use-this-field-guide Reform Judaism Reform Judaism treats Halacha as a source of values and meaning rather than binding law, emphasizing individual autonomy, ethical monotheism, and tikkun olam; it was the first movement to fully recognize patrilineal descent and ordain women as rabbis. how-to-use-this-field-guide Shabbat שַׁבָּת The seventh day — the weekly day of rest from Friday sunset to Saturday nightfall, marked by candle lighting, kiddush, festive meals, and rest from creative work. where-to-start-your-first-shabbat Shulchan Aruch שולחן ערוך Literally 'the set table' — the authoritative 16th-century code of Jewish law by Rabbi Yosef Karo, printed with the Ashkenazi glosses of Rabbi Moshe Isserles. It remains the baseline reference for halachic practice. Talmud תלמוד The vast rabbinic work — the Mishnah together with the Gemara's discussion of it — that develops the Oral Torah into Jewish law and thought. It is the central text of Jewish study after the Bible itself. essentials-essential-facts-the-talmud-in-one-article Teshuvah תשובה Literally 'return' — repentance: the turning away from wrongdoing and back toward God and one's better self. It stands at the heart of the season from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur, and is available all year. Torah תּוֹרָה The Five Books of Moses — the scroll at the center of Jewish life — and, more broadly, the whole of Jewish teaching. 'Learning Torah' can mean anything from Chumash to Talmud. baal teshuvah בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה Literally 'a master of return' — a Jew who takes on religious observance later in life (plural: ba'alei teshuva). The term carries honor: the Talmud teaches that where ba'alei teshuva stand, even the completely righteous cannot stand. chaver חָבֵר A friend or companion — the word behind Pirkei Avot's counsel to 'acquire for yourself a chaver.' In Jewish life, friendship is treated as a practice, not an accident. community-chevra-and-chevruta chevruta חַבְרוּתָא A study partner, and the paired, out-loud style of learning that is the basic unit of Talmud study — from the Aramaic for 'friendship.' Two learners argue a text into clarity. community-chevra-and-chevruta hashkafa הַשְׁקָפָה One's religious outlook or worldview — the lens of values and emphases (rationalist, mystical, Zionist, egalitarian) through which a person or community approaches Jewish life. kehilla קְהִלָּה A Jewish community — the congregation and the web of relationships within which Jewish life is actually lived. posek פּוֹסֵק A halachic decisor — a rabbi with the learning and authority to rule on questions of Jewish law. The plural is poskim. rav רַב A rabbi — especially the rabbi a person takes as their own teacher and halachic guide, following the Mishnah's counsel to 'make for yourself a rav.' where-to-start-finding-a-rabbi shul שול The Yiddish word for synagogue, used warmly across the Jewish world for the house of prayer, study, and community. community-finding-a-shul smicha סְמִיכָה Rabbinic ordination — the formal conferral of authority to teach and rule on Jewish law, whose name ('laying on of hands') recalls Moses ordaining Joshua. yeshiva ישיבה An academy of intensive Torah and Talmud study (plural yeshivot), traditionally built around chevruta partner learning; from a root meaning 'to sit.' parent Community /sections/community.xml related Your First Holiday Cycle /articles/where-to-start-your-first-holiday-cycle.xml related Finding a Shul /articles/community-finding-a-shul.xml related Chevra and Chevruta /articles/community-chevra-and-chevruta.xml